Haecceity.nu

You may or may not have heard via Twitter, but my endocrinologist has put me on a CGM for a week (well, 5 days) since my last A1C result was much higher than it should be. We’re trying to figure out why, hence the temporary CGM. I went into the Diabetes Services office last Monday to get it put on, and it was more of an ordeal than I expected it to be.

Firstly, I was nervous. I didn’t know how big the needle would be or where the diabetes educator would recommend putting it. I’ve never worn a CGM before, but I do wear an insulin pump. However, I only put my infusion sets in my legs mostly because I get the heeby-jeebies about putting them anywhere else.

When I got to the office, the diabetes educator, Sylvia, was very nice and had everything set up and waiting for me. She recommended putting it in my stomach or hip, so I opted for my hip and took a deep breath… However, the launcher wasn’t working! Which, of course, made me more nervous. I’ve had issues with my pump’s infusion set launcher before and it’s not a fun thing to deal with. (Basically, it either causes the set to go in too slow, so it hurts more, or not all the way in so you accidentally pull it back out and have to start all over again.) After a few attempts with the launcher not working, she decided to try a new launcher… which then worked. Damn things.

It hurt a bit, I’m not going to lie. That coupled with my mounting nerves due to the launcher issue caused me to feel quite light-headed, so I had to lie down after the CGM was in and she was calibrating my meter with it. I thought I was going to pass out, so she brought me a cold towel, a glass of cold water, and pointed a small table fan at me. If there’s a good place to feel like your going to faint, it’s a doctor’s office. I felt much better after about 10-15 minutes and was on my way home shortly after that.

I’ve worn the CGM for ~4 days now, and I go in tomorrow to take it off. So far, it’s been really uncomfortable. I have no idea if it’d be better or worse if I had chosen my stomach for the site instead, but in it’s current placement on my right hip it’s very itchy and I’m constantly afraid of pulling it out. Additionally, I once accidentally rolled over on it in my sleep and woke up abruptly because it felt like someone had stabbed me. :/ So I’ve been taking great pains not to hit it with things like my purse or backpack or the back of my chair at work. I think this has caused the extra pain/pressure on my lower back, which has been killing me all week. I’m probably standing funny or walking/sitting weirdly. My mom thinks they might have put too much tape on it, which causes more pulling at the set as I move. Augh!

In any case, I’m glad that I was able to do this and I hope the results will be helpful in adjusting my doses and achieving a more normal A1C. *crosses fingers*

Finding a new Endocrinologist for my Diabetes care is actually much harder than one would think. I should have done this months ago, obviously, but due to my excessive laziness and hatred of switching doctors I avoided it. Now I’m down to a bottle of insulin, so it was crucial that I get an appointment ASAP. Why that’s so difficult, I’m not sure why. So, I printed out an excessive list of doctors and phone numbers from my health insurance provider’s website and got to calling.

It didn’t go very well, sadly. Originally I wanted a female doctor because I feel more comfortable with them (don’t ask me why). But all the female doctors on my list didn’t have available appointments till May at the earliest, and the one I specifically wanted to visit didn’t have any until June. So, obviously, that wasn’t going to work. Plus the fact that the group requires a referral, so if I wanted to make an appointment there I’d have to get one first. Annoying. (So later I will have to find a Primary Care Physician to refer me there.)

Anyway, I did end up getting an appointment for the 23rd, which is in ~2 weeks. (A bottle of insulin lasts me about a month so I should be good until then.) The doctor is male, but I can’t really be choosy at the moment. If I end up liking him, I’ll stick with him. If not, I can go doctor-shopping again in the future. At least I can rest easy knowing I won’t run out of my insulin before the appointment.

Last night, despite changing my pump set in the morning, my blood sugar sky rocketed to over 500 mg/dL. I felt horrid, so I took a ton of insulin and laid down in bed. My boyfriend helped wake me up at periodic times during the night to recheck my glucose and take more insulin, but the insulin seems to not be doing very much. I woke up in the 300s, which was obviously better than 500+ but also not very ideal. So I took more insulin. I went to work, I bolused for a bagel for breakfast. I checked again at lunch, now in the 400s. Probably shouldn’t have eaten that bagel, but oh well. So I took more insulin (including what I needed to cover what I was eating).

It’s now almost 4 pm and I’m still in the 400s. My blood sugar seems to have not budged AT ALL. It’s very frustrating, as I’ve been at work with a headache and slightly blurry vision. (It’s been really hard to concentrate on the computer screen for long periods of time. Thankfully I didn’t have much work to worry about today.) So I decided I should just take a shot and did. I took 5 units via injection in my arm and did a normal correction via my pump. We’ll see how this works, I hope it does it’s job and gets me back to normal. I haaaaate feeling like this and especially when no matter what I try nothing changes.

Maybe it’s finally time for me to rotate my pump sets to another area, I fear (based on today) that I’m actually starting to have absorption problems in my legs (where I always put my sets). Thing is I’m not really comfortable putting the sets anywhere else. :/

Anyone have any ideas for me?

So far, the new year hasn’t been good to me. I’ve been sick with the flu, so I’ve been stuck at home with a fever and cough and all sorts of other terrible symptoms—not fun. I’m hoping this isn’t a bad sign, though. I have a lot of things I’d like to do in the new year, and what better way to remember than to type them down into this blog that I rarely update?

So, here they are (in no particular order):

Design more things for fun and/or for myself.
The only design work I’ve done in the past year or so has been for clients, an internship, or my job. Thus, even the very act of opening an Adobe application feels like work to me. I’d like to put a stop to that, I want my creative process to be fun again and, well, more creative.

Take more photos and learn how to use a camera properly.
I’ve always been thoroughly intrigued with photography and I love taking photos. However, I have no idea what the ISO setting is for or what it does and I’ve only just recently learned what “HDR” stands for (it’s High Dynamic Range). I’d love to find a place to take a class in old school film photography to get my feet wet, but that may be expensive and/or hard to find, I’m not sure. (It might also be too time-consuming for me, who knows.) Either way, if I can’t do that, I’d like to either get a book on digital photography (I prefer this over googling for stuff the internet, don’t ask me why. I just like books.) or take a class. Or something.

Take belly dance or other type of dance lessons weekly.
I took belly dance classes for a little while while I was interning in Chicago, and I enjoyed it. Besides that I haven’t taken dance classes (I used to take tap, jazz, AND ballet!) since I was about 18 and I miss it profusely. I also feel horribly out of shape.

Be in better control of my Diabetes.
I make this resolution every year but to be honest I am horrible at keeping it. My A1C has been hovering around 9 for a while (normal is like 6 or 7, sometimes as low as 5) and I’d like to start getting that down to a better level. I want to take better care of myself because I’m sick of always feeling sick, you know? I’m hoping this bought of the flu is enough motivation for me to finally seek out the doctors I need (still need both a PCP and an Endocrinologist), get a new insulin pump (possibly, I think I’m due for a new one), and get back on track. To start I need a new log book that I can actually write things in, the one I have now is not only old but the boxes are too small to fit any handwriting into, so I’ll have to look into that.

Keep my apartment cleaner.
Everything seems to pile up around us, and it’s starting to get annoying. For instance, we have a pile of cardboard sitting next to the trash can right now that we still haven’t taken out to the recycling bin. Louie’s got a dirty clothes pile next to his bed. I have a pile of mail on my desk. Our suitcases still aren’t unpacked despite being home for almost a week after our vacation. Our entire apartment needs severe dusting and vacuuming of cat hair. Which, I suppose, means we actually have to get a vacuum. But you get the idea.

Go out more, with friends.
I spend all day at work without anyone to really talk to or hang out with. There’s no one at work I’m really friends with. Then I go home and Louie and I watch episodes of Mad Men or play World of Warcraft. Or we work. We don’t do much talking, we’re not very active. So, therefore, I feel kind of like I’m stuck at home all the time (despite the fact that we’re always going out to eat because we hardly ever cook at home). When I lived in NY, I’d go out with my friends almost daily. I love being with people, talking and sharing stories and just forming close bonds. I’ve felt really detached from my friends back in NY since I’ve moved here, I hardly ever talk to them and it’s hard to find a time to because of the time difference, especially with one of them going to school in England right now. I actually feel quite lonely and I definitely don’t want to feel that way anymore.

Explore more.
So, I don’t live in NY anymore. I don’t know this city like the back of my hand, but I’d like to. San Francisco is my new home, so I feel I should. I want to go exploring all the parts of the city I never get to see because I walk 4 blocks to my job and haven’t been much more west than Japantown (excepting a single visit to the Zoo once and Presidio one other time).

Sell my letterpress goods.
I’ve always wanted to have my own Etsy or private online shop dedicated to selling my letterpress creations (postcards, posters, greeting cards, etc). I hope to at least start that sometime this year.

and, finally…

Write more.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be blogging here, but that would be a start. I have a World of Warcraft healing blog I haven’t been keeping up with, too, and I still intend to start a design blog on my portfolio website sometime this year as well. I’d also, ideally, like to get back into writing poetry. My favorite form was always the haiku, which are nice and short and to the point, so writing those should be a good start to get back into it.

I realize that’s quite a bit to want to do in the new year, but I think I can handle it. Maybe. Most of it, at least.

Saw this on Allison’s site a while ago and never filled it out. I figured that today, since I’m home sick and bored, would be a good day to do so. I apologize for the fact that I have no idea what the original source is.

What type of diabetes do you have:
Type-1, which used to be called “Juvenille-Onset Diabetes” but I think that term is depreciated now.

When were you diagnosed:
October 9, 1999. It was 4 days before my 12th birthday! (Thanks for that early birthday present, mother nature.)

What’s your current blood sugar:
I literally just pulled out my glucose meter to check this. It’s 270 mg/dL, probably because I’m sick.

What kind of meter do you use:
OneTouch UltraLink, it’s the one that “communicates” with my insulin pump. (“Communicates” meaning it sends my readings to the pump so I don’t have to type them in, and that’s it.)

How many times a day do you test your blood sugar:
I average twice a day, but I know I should be doing it more like 5 or 6 times. I’m really lazy when it comes to testing but I’m trying to get better at it.

What’s a “high” number for you:
Anything over 200 mg/dL I consider “high” and I correct to 120 mg/dL.

What do you consider “low”:
Anything under 70 mg/dL. Under 80 is when I start getting symptoms, but under 70 is when they start becoming really apparent.

What’s your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater:
I love fruit punch glucose tablets, and I keep a roll of them on me at all times. Sometimes, for a really low blood sugar or if it’s before bed, I also eat a spoonful of peanut butter.

Describe your dream endo:
Female, a fellow type-1 diabetic, well-educated, familiar with the latest technologies available, and easy-going/friendly.

What’s your biggest diabetes achievement:
Living, of course!

What’s your biggest diabetes-related fear:
Having complications related to my eyesight—my field of work is graphic design so I depend heavily on my eyes to do my job.

Who’s on your support team:
My mom, my brother (a fellow type-1 diabetic himself), my boyfriend (he still needs to learn more, but he’s been great so far), and hopefully whoever my new endocrinologist ends up being (I have yet to find one in SF yet).

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime:
I highly doubt it, but I’m trying to be optimistic for future generations.

What is a “cure” to you:
To quote Allison: “A complete biological reversal of Diabetes.” I will also add, in the case of pancreas transplants, that my ideal cure would not include pills to prevent my body from rejecting a new organ.

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is:
I often get asked if my pump is a beeper, which seems silly to me. Though once I got asked if it was a new, unreleased iPod (which made me laugh). But I’d have to say that the most annoying thing to me is the misconceptions people have about Diabetics and how most of those misconceptions are related to Type-2. People like Dr. Oz going on Oprah and using a type-1 Diabetic with severe complications (due to the fact that she didn’t take care of herself) to scare type-2 Diabetics into eating better and exerciseing while also attempting to convince them that Diabetes is reversible (trust me when I say it’s not) DOES NOT help these misconceptions.

What is the most common misconception about diabetes:
This list could go on and on and on, but here are my least favorite:
1) Diabetes is reversible
2) Type-1 Diabetes is the “bad kind.”
3) It’s caused by eating too much sugar.

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be:
Why’d you have to go and let my cells beat each other up? That’s not cool.